Twiga has been on holiday and therefore relying on the international media for reports on the start of the Party Conference season. Somehow first off the blocks, the Lib Dems didn't seem to attract a lot of coverage. Maybe the fact that all three parties have had to choose venues which don't immediately strike anyone as places of possible fun or pleasure has kept the journalists of the world away? Even the former habitual venues in rundown seaside resorts offered some glimpse of maybe fun times past, but Birmingham,Liverpool and Manchester? They are all wonderful places and for those who know them well and live or do business in them there must be endless sources of glitzy entertainment and inspiration. Sadly for most of the rest of the globe their come hither messages just haven't got across so far.
From what we could glean though, the Lib Dem gathering would struggle to be called a warm up event for the other two,- or anything. Nick Clegg, after listening to the proceedings for a couple of days and no doubt inwardly wincing while trying on the surface to both smile and scowl at the politically right moments, did though tell the assembled horde the political and economic truth that the government, of which the Lib Dems are a part, is committed to its austerity programme. Herein lies the rub. It's not the sort of thing many of them wanted to hear. The party has not yet grasped the difference between being in government rather than opposition and the adjustments needed in an even more complex setup called a coalition. This requires a lot of maturity, something that this formerly largely protest group has not yet managed to get its head around. While it is entitled to differences of opinion with its partner, it has an obligation arising from the voters expressed wish for a coalition government, to be broadly supportive at least in public. A Party Conference is very public indeed. Unfortunately its behaviour in Birmingham resembled that of a very young puppy just arrived in a good new home being unable to stop itself piddling all over the carpet. Clegg rescued them by standing firm on economic policy and speaking the way he did but he wasn't popular for doing so.
This weekend it's Liverpool and (Old) Labour. Yesterday's TV had shots of Ed arriving with wife and kids, radiating family values and bonhomie to the party faithful( a short term relationship in Labour circles). This is the Ed whose family values reach to knifing his brothers's ambitions in something seen as close to fratricide. It was a reach for the sickbag moment which should have had the Childline switchboard swamped with calls protesting about the misuse of wives and children in commercials. Now will follow several days of glowing praise for Gordon's old favourites, the "hard working families". What about hard working singles, divorcees, widows, widowers, formerly hard working pensioners and the rest? Not much about them we fear. There will be a lot of feeling other people's pain and the squeezed middle class other than those who vote Tory or remember who it was who when in power for 13 years squeezed them rotten while borrowing like there was no tomorrow-which may turn out to be the economic result? The bankers can expect a lonely week too. They are meant to atone for their sins by now paying for everything for everybody as well building up enough reserves to avoid disappearing with all our savings and at the same time lending money left, right and centre to fund everything anybody wants to do. Theirs is truly a bed of nails and they will be portrayed as lucky not to be being boiled in oil too.
It will also not be a good week for a display of one man one vote type democracy. Thanks to the sharp elbowed Union block votes, the Miliband with the least individual and constituency votes won the leadership election. That signalled not only the defeat of his brother but the end of the line,-for now at least,-of New Labour. Old Labour is back and with it any talk of reducing the Union block vote at the Conference from its existing 50% has gone. Many of the delegates feel much more comfortable back in this mode rather than the modernist Blair type stuff with its ideas of reaching out to people they fundamentally seriously dislike,-eg in particular non public sector people and those not on benefits. This means that the members and constituencies can think and say what they like but if the unions who make up 80% of Labour's finances don't go for it, whatever it is doesn't happen. That's what democracy looks like in the Party and anyone who voices strong objections is rather heavy handedly evicted from the hall. It's very much Soviet style and has been for as long as anyone can remember. You don't want to mess with the heavies at a Labour gathering. Love and brotherhood or comradeship as it was unashamedly called until recently ,and in some quarters still is, extends only to those who say "Yes".
Next weekend it will be the turn of the Tories in Manchester, the sort of place to which many of this heavily southern orientated fraternity would probably rather not go. Some may fly so that they are spared the view of whatever lies between the M25 and the Manchester Central Conference Centre but most will probably go by Virgin train if Mr Branson has managed to persuade Network Rail not to spend the weekend digging up the track. It will have been made clear that to be seen to arrive by public transport is a must and that being driven up the M1 and M6 by Rolls to transfer to the Park and Ride bus for the last few miles doesn't qualify. Removal of First Class headrest covers, Miliband style, may be obligatory for those travelling in the comfy seats but we await the TV shots to confirm whether or not this is the case in the ruling party.
So... lots to look forward to over the next few days and Twiga will be back viewing. For those who don't want to watch, we recommend a quick call to Cunard for last minute cruise bookings. You can emigrate on them too.
