It's pretty difficult to imagine an event causing less excitement than next week's elections to the European Parliament. What looks like a tragedy for democracy is simply a reflection of the fact that few believe that the European Parliament is really anything about democracy and that it anything but a rubber stamp for decisions taken totally undemocratically by the European Commission who listen only to the heads of France and Germany but otherwise more or less cook up whatever they want to in the furtherance of the thing Britain has never believed in-"Ever closer (political) unity".
Some will go to the polls if only to give the current trio of lacklustre and uninspiring main party political leaders a kicking by voting for UKIP whose only assets are an excellent speaker in the form of Nigel Farage who also comes over as a human sort of bloke who speaks an intelligible language. This is something none of the others are or do His other big plus is that fact that he is "None of the above".
So what are all the leaflets saying to urge us into the empty polling booths and then bothering to do anything other than spoil our ballots? Write-ins are not acceptable so scrawling "Plonker" in any box disenfranchises you for this session.
First leaflet though the door was the GREENS offering all sorts of rights including not to be make to work too hard, not to be eaten too often (if you are an animal), and not to be able to read on still nights when the windmills aren't going round. They were pretty hot on everybody being virtuous, shifting cash from those who create or make wealth to those who don't and generally living a pretty chilled out life and in winter a very chilled out one as all those nasty power stations will have closed. Nice sunlit uplands for all then. Their leaflet is now on its way to recycling,- as they would wish.
Next in were the LIBDEMS. Yes, they are having a go. Read their stuff. They are making a difference. Stopping Tories being nasty. Dishing out hot school meals. Cost,- what's that? Also keen on recycling. OK folks. Thankyou. Your wish is met.
LABOUR sent a pic of Ed. Not sure why they bother in rural Bucks though handy down the pub as an extra feature on the dart board. Gets a good laugh though. Talked about the cost of living crisis. Don't they target their leaflets by area or maybe they've never been to rural Bucks?
Then in came Nige and UKIP. Great colours purple and yellow and they do stand out in the fields among the rapeseed flowers at this time of year. Nige is good in the pub and enjoys the unspeakable sin of a fag (no we aren't talking of past top public school goings on here) so knows how to come over as the man to make a difference. God help us if he were ever able to but that's another story. He knows his markets so the Chiltern version of his bit of recycling trumpets his opposition to HS 2 tearing the life and soul out of a strip of land about 50 yards wide and twelve miles long through a part of the hills unparalleled in beauty except for in the next valley, and he next, and the next. By taking this stance,-which will get him votes is these hills,- he identifies himself as standing alongside the GREENS, something that couldn't be further from his dreams. The fact is that they and he are "Do nothing, Change nothing, Hurrah for Old England and warm ale" parties. Off to the bin with this one though many households will treasure it and his party is likely to get the biggest vote and therefore the most British MEPs. If anyone wanted an argument against proportional representation that's a pretty good one.
Last, just today came the CONSERVATIVES with pic of polished, groomed hair Dave looking very Dave. In fairness though he had something to say. He and his friends haven't grasped the most powerful argument is that they really want to stay in Europe but a Europe changed for ALL participants, not just Britain. A Europe once and for all shorn of the "Ever closer union" dream of the hard core and ever more powerful unelected and dictatorial Eurocrats. That's the real Tory argument. They just don't put it across right. However, like them or not, they are the only party offering an alternative to grovelling subservience ("because of the jobs") to an increasingly powerful ,dictatorial and hugely expensive (= massive overhead on everything EU members do, making them ever less competitive in the world) centralising monster. For that reason there is no option but to give them the X on the day and hope for the best. Their blurb though, including the pic of Dave, can join the rest in the recycling bin.
